Need help with a melody, or a lyric change of sort.

Hey guys. This isn’t so much a journal entry, but I still want to share.

Dear writers who are reading this.

I have written a song. A song about masochistic love (provided below) and am finding a lot of difficulty in finding a melody for said song. I am more of a ‘lyrics first’ kind of person because the written message is quite important to me. However, usually when writing songs, I have a melody and rhythm that flows with the lyrics too. And that is why I’m asking for help. I can’t find the melody for this piece. I just need to know the vibe of the song. What do you feel when you read the lyrics, and what pace accompanies it? What genre are you assigning to the song? All of these are important to me and would love your opinion. The only melody I get from it is something similar to ‘Let It Go’, and that in itself is a huge problem… I shouldn’t have to explain why. However, if you feel like more could be added to it, say, fill in a couple of lines here and thee to get the flow more consistent, then by all means, all suggestions welcome.

Anyway, here’s the song:

I am Yours
Verse 1
Searching in the labyrinth of mind
I found you in the fog
Your presence choked and blinded me
And enveloped me in smog

Drowning in your ardour
I quickly lost my soul
My senses gave themselves away
you devoured them in whole

Pre-Chorus
Poison to my lips
I taste you more and more
Coat me in your chaos
Feed me to discord

Chorus
(I am yours)
I need your gentle kiss
(I am yours)
To be my narcotic
(Forever more)
Your body is my crutch
(I am yours)
The moment that we touch

Verse 2
You are the only shepherd
And I the only sheep
Harvest my love for you
My body’s yours to reap

Inflict your love upon me
Pleasure comes from pain
Masochistic form of joy
My blood is yours to drain

Pre-Chorus
Burn me baby
My heart is yours to torch
Char me with your love
Melt the skin you touch

Chorus

Bridge
This is what I want from you
This is what I crave
Give me all your love baby
Until I see the grave

Chorus

Thank you to anyone who responds, comments, likes, stars, whatever. Thank you.

I’ll talk to you soon- Safiibox out!

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Onus

Hey guys. Well I have a new song written and not sure if it’s good or not, but whatever, you guys can read it and tell me what you think of it lyrically. I haven’t solidly prepared a melody for it just yet, but with so many ideas bouncing around, I feel that it’s gonna be a while for me to get that one style. Meh.

Anyway, this song is about coming out  of a bad friendship or relationship, or anything negative that you come out of. I for one have been in many friendships where I’ve been treated like a piece of dirt. I’ve felt worthless, weak and generally unnecessary to myself and the people whom I chose to associate with. I eventually distanced myself from those people, but there’s always that one side of me that wallows in self-pity. ‘Why did I have to do something so stupid? Why me?’ are among the many things I’ve said to myself or to others (mainly my family), and it’s embarrassing frankly. I hate it. That’s why, on the other side of my mind, I’m also scolding my ‘pity’ self into moving the hell on! This is one of those little arguments between those two sides. I called the song Onus as I feel with all of us who have been in those situations, we have an obligaiton to get up and move on. We’ve been through enough, let’s just leave it, and move on! Anyway, here you go: Onus 

Onus

Verse 1
Who are you?
Can you leave my bed?
A tricky situation

What do you want?
Thoughts racing in my head
Pure Dissatisfaction

Pre-Chorus
I don’t know where you’re from
But I know I don’t want you here
I see the tears on your face
But let me make one thing clear.

Chorus
I don’t know you
And I don’t care
Get out of my face
Get out of my hair

A simple mistake
Has stained your faith
You think it’s over
Fallen from grace
Have you seen?
Any scars on your chin?

Verse 2
Come on now
Both in this together
Lets move some things around here

What a clown
There is so much you fear
I just can’t understand how

Pre-Chorus
Why you acting like this for?
Unaware of what you’re doing?
Pick up the dignity from the floor
And let me say just one more thing 

Chorus
I don’t know you
And I don’t care
Just wipe your face
Go fix your hair
A new start

A new start can begin
Bridge

I didn’t want this either
I hope you know that, right?
It takes two to tango
And two to fight

Come now, please move on
Make things easier
I only want the better for you
Fight back the tears

Chorus x2(?)
I don’t know you
And I don’t care
Get out of my face
Get out of my hair

I don’t know you
And I don’t care
Just wipe your face
Go fix your hair

Have you seen?
Any scars on your chin?
A new start
A new start can begin

Respect

After having a good think in the shower, my haven, my home. I decided that respect was something I wanted to touch on. What the hell is respect, and why should I give it to people?

To me, age, experience, etc does not define whether you should be respected or not. I’m just gonna go ahead and say that straight up. Just because you are older than me does not make you a respectable figure. People may think I’m wrong for thinking that, but that’s just my opinion. If I, a younger person went up to an older individual I would respect them just like how I would respect anyone else. As a stranger. They aren’t important enough for me to care about, and they haven’t done anything wrong, so of course I’m going to treat them with respect as I believe in the ‘Treat others how you would like to be treated too’ thing. So I respect everyone. Children, teenagers, people my age and anyone older. However, as soon as someone puts on a show of superiority, then it’s game over. I think that people feel an obligation to get respect due to their age and then to act like they’re superior in front of people who they see as less experienced and whatnot. I understand that. However, I don’t agree with it, Just because you’ve been in the game longer than me, doesn’t mean you know all the rules. Just like how I wouldn’t treat a kid younger than me as if I know everything. I don’t expect you to do the same. I could be smarter, wiser, more qualified than you, and you still think you have authority over me? No. I don’t think so. The only way I will treat you with respect is if you do the same to me.

I am generally a nice person. I will always greet new people with a smile, a friendly ‘hello’ and other such greetings and in general, respect them. But if you respond with a bad attitude, then I’m returning it from then on. All respect has been lost because you didn’t give me respect. It’s no longer about age, but about manners. I don’t know you, you don’t know me, so this could have gone really well for us two, but your stupidity made it impossible, and now we’ve both lost out. It doesn’t matter if you’re older than me. If you don’t treat me with respect, don’t expect any back. It’s that simple.

Perhaps I should write a song/poem about it. Express the distaste I have with such a notion. Respect only belongs to those who earn it, not through a pre-ordained obligation.

Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to write about. I’ll catch you guys later. Safiibox out!

What a song SHOULD have (to me).

Hey guys!

This little post is in regards to song-writing. I like songs. I like writing. I therefore like song-writing. But to me, songwriting is somewhat of a strange concept. You have to provide a story, or a piece of writing that entices the listener through words and melody. But to me, there are more factors to consider. Words and melody are of course complete necessities. However, emotions and poeticism are just as important in the lyrics I feel.

See, with just melody and lyrics, you have the basic structure and statement of the song. Say it’s about a break-up… a sad break-up. So you have your sad melody and your sad lyrics, and everyone can tell that, that song is indeed, a sad song. But I think in modern music, people are lacking the emotion to really get their message across. Why would anyone want to write a sad song when they can’t even relate to it themselves? Is it to get other people to relate to it? Are you doing it for attention? What is it? For me, music, and the idea of writing what is in your heart and mind encompasses not only melody and lyrics, but emotions too. Like it’s therapy or something. I’ve written poems (bad as they may be) that are from the heart, and anyone reading them should be able to understand where I’m coming from, hopefully. Well it’s the same with songs. you should be able to communicate emotionally, so that you and the listener truly have that connection, and not just a one-way street where they’re feeling all of these emotions and you’re just singing, without any idea what the listener is going through. If you, the singer, song-writer, whatever fail to provide an emotional connection to a song, then to me, you’ve failed as a singer, song-writer.

Secondly, is the multi-layering idea. I, as a deep individual like to write poems, and songs that contain not just one layer of message. There’s more to me than meets the eye, and its the same with my lyrics and poems. I’ve wrote two songs that have multi-layered messages because I find it not only fun to do, but because my music should make you think, it should make you feel, it should make you listen to how the melody matches up with the lyrics, and for you to really listen to the lyrics. I have a song called Juliette that I wrote and it’s about a teddy-bear supporting a little girl called Juliette, who’s hiding from a scary man. Those are the shallow lyrics. The deeper lyrics refers to the idea that there’s always someone in your life supporting you in your times of need. You need them, and they’re there for you. They’ll never let you go. It can also be linked into the teddy-bear being you. You are the one supporting Juliette, who in your context, is someone who needs your support.

I like multi-layered lyrics as it allows for more than one interpretation. You can take it on the shallow sense, in all of its shallowness, or really dig deep into the lyrics and discover the meaning for yourself. That’s what a song should have. It also works with the emotional ties too. If I write a shallow set of lyrics, how am I supposed to connect to the listener? Inserting a deeper meaning behind the song allows me to find that emotional hook and use that as a way to connect to the listener.

Anyway, Feel free to comment, like, star, share, do whatever you want with it, and I’ll talk to you soon.

Safiibox out!

Piano times= fun!

Despite having nothing happen to me, at all, for a long time now, I figured I should do write about something, and the topic I chose is: My self-taught piano… thing! *Magic*

So yeah, I decided, as a hobby to pursue the art of the piano, something I used to do as a child for fun, but never really stopped doing mentally. I would often find myself emulating the melody of a song, tapping the imaginary keys that happened to be on my thigh. Whether I was spot-on with the notes is beyond me, but I had that thought constantly. Just replicating the sounds and playing it by ear, and as years went on, I continued to do this, sometimes intentionally, most of the times by habit.

After my mental switcheroo I decided to learn the piano again. For fun, but with the intentions of turning it into something that benefits me and my life. I don’t pursue hobbies, or things of that nature because they’re ‘Nice to do’. I am NOT going to fork out stupendous amounts of money and time for something on the side. No way! So, I’m self-teaching the piano so that if I was to ever be bored, I could earn money from that too, or even turn my musical talents into something more than that… whatever it may be.

The piano as an instrument isn’t too hard to play. It’s pretty easy to get a hang of I feel, and all that is required are, to me: nimble fingers, musical awareness, multi-tasking abilities, and good memory. Again, to me. The nimble fingers refers to the fact that, well, when playing faster melodies, you’re gonna need to be able to move your fingers fast. It’s that simple. But also nimble enough to be aware what key you need to press. Of course.

Musical awareness is something a bit more abstract. An abstractness that I cannot explain… hehh. Moving swiftly on to ‘multi-tasking’. This one is difficult for me. Reading sheet music, playing it with your right-hand.. and left hand too? Damn, that’s tough. Couldn’t do it when I was younger, still can’t do it. But I’m learning, so it’ll take a bit of time, but I’m getting there!

Good memory. Well, yeah. You need to be able to remember what you’re playing. OF COURSE! This requires both short and long-term memories too. Thankfully, I have that. You just need to keep on revising the material you’ve learnt and that’s it.

What a bland post. Seriously. I’m sorry. My life has been so monotonous that there really is nothing I need to write about. Perhaps someone needs to get hit by my train again or something. I’m like a journalist. I don’t care what story it is, I need one!

Anyway, Safiibox out!