To be alone is a state that only few people truly enjoy. To be able to reflect, and be connected to oneself in the deepest of manners is a luxury to only some of us. A luxury that I seldom feel. My mind is cluttered with thoughts ranging back to my childhood. Old worries, paranoias, and questions that have plagued me long ago, still linger on, with the addition of new ones. I sit and contemplate the existence of such things. When will they leave? How can I make them leave? Yes, being alone is a luxury, but how can one feel alone, when you are always present in your mind. To me, I feel like I am everywhere, representing every single what-if, or why.
My dream location is not just a location, it is also a state. A state where I am free from worry, doubt. A place where the only sound I can hear, is silence. Imagine what that could feel like. To me, all I can see is blackness, and what do I feel? Nothing. That is what being alone is to me. Absolute nothingness, and this is where I would like to go. The location does not exist, but it does too. Where does it exist if it is impossible to reach whilst you are alive? I assume you already know. The place where I want to go, the place free of life’s burdens is a place completely contrary to life. A place so dark, where nothing exists, is the only place where one can feel and attain true respite. No, I do not want to go to a physical location limited to this realm. I want to visit the only realm where I can truly find peace. I want to die.